nurture vs nosey

I never really thought of it until recently....

I always thought that taking care of someone was just nurturing... (something every mother seems to come by naturally or at least should - and if not naturally then they should learn.)

But not so.

Last week I visited my dentist. THAT is a whole story all by itself because I really have a huge dental phobia thing going on that stems from 4th grade when my dad left, we moved across the country not once but twice, my whole world was in upheaval and I had my very first dental visit. (I know - the sentence was too long and actually so is this little rabbit trail but stick with me.) I'd never been to the dentist and when we got to California my aunt took one look at my teeth and knew it was time - so she made the appointment and away I went - to another new adventure which by now I was pretty sick of all the new adventures and this one proved to be just one more awful memory. I was terrified, which seemed to irritate the dental assistant - or maybe it was just that I was squeezing her hand to hard - what ever - she decided I needed to snap out of it so as I began to cry she slapped me and told me stop being such a baby. Well back then if you got in trouble "where ever" you got double when you got home so I never told and well now I need therapy.

ANYWAY - so I'm at the dentist's office - not the monster from 4th grade but a new dentist in an office I've been going to for years and years. Well as I come in the door the office manager tells me the computers are down and in fact, the whole server has crashed. If you know me you know I'm a computer person. So we exchange questions and answers and I head back to the patient room.

Folks - I'm leaving out ALL the details here in order to get to the point... just suffice it to say I set up the original network here, love the people who work in this office and know the guy who is now maintaining their network and have great respect for him. I KNOW I can reach him and give him a better picture of what is happening in this office. I KNOW I can help the office and alleviate some of their stress. REALLY - this isn't an opinion - this is fact!

So I get out my phone to call the computer guy - a very loving, nurturing kind of thing on my part. Or so I thought.

Then it hits me. Nobody asked me to do anything about this. It's really none of my business. This is not really me being nurturing and taking care of someone - it's me being nosy and getting in the middle of something that is just not my business. No matter how much I care about someone, if I'm not invited in, I don't belong.

I wonder how many times I've thought I was nurturing when all I was really doing was being nosy. I wonder how many toes I've stepped on doing that.... hmmmm. More room for grace.

Oh - and the new dentist - turns out he's a wonderful man who allows me to hum while he works on my teeth so I can escape to a far better place. If you need a good dentist I know where to find one!


I Thess 4:11