the first day of the rest of my life

I've been considering this for so long.... I wonder if it's fear that has held me back and yet what is there to fear? (ummm - how about being too revealing? or maybe fear of ridicule? or worse yet - what if nobody reads this? worst of all - what if they DO???)

No matter. It's done and I'm here and it only seems right that this day, the first day of the rest of my life, I should begin a blog.

I went back to school today. It's the first time in 30 years that I've actually attended school. Not sure if I was actually anxious or just nervous. Even more so now....

The day went pretty great - found an EXCELLENT parking spot (I'll NEVER do that again - it was even FREE) right off the bat, arrived early enough to not stress over finding the class, even had time to stop at Starbucks on the way so I totally appeared calm while standing at the door, waiting to enter while sipping on a Chai latte. Nobody could know my heart was racing! I threw away half of the tea - it was hot and I was starting to perspire (girls never sweat) just from nerves - the hot tea was NOT helping!

The class is a Psych 101 class - and promises to be excellent... the Professor is a Christian not that Christians are any better or worse than anyone else (NOT going there right now.) It's just that it is important to me that I take this particular class from someone who has the same basic beliefs I have. The other teacher is an agnostic - more power to her. But I digress - ugggg - it's happening already.

But there will be homework - already there is reading and a quiz due on Wednesday. I spent most of the day buying the book (ever wait in college lines - register, drop the wait list class, add the class with the add card from the teacher, pay the fees, print the schedule, find the books, wait to pay - OMG it took 2 hours to do what should take only 10 minutes!!! But digression again...) so of course there isn't much time for homework tonight - and WHY would I do homework when I can sit here and pour out too much info to people who aren't there or likely don't care??? hmmmmm

So as nervous as I was at the beginning of the day, I'm no more assured now. I'm not as young as I once was.... not sure I was EVER good at studying - I never had to - things came so easy then. Now I will probably have to study and even then I'm not convinced I'll be able to do this. But it is soooo worth trying.

All that to say - it just feels like the first day of the rest of my life. I've started down a new path. I'm doing this for ME. It's a good thing. (my apologies to Martha - it works better here.)

And it's only the beginning.....