Sometimes a girl just has to cry!!

Went to Starbucks today for coffee with my VVVBFF (not to be confused with my VVBFF or my VBFF or my BFFN - which makes me ask the question - are those interchangebale? And what's up with that anyway???)

Anyway - we're discussing the deeper things of life... and I was telling her about this peace I have about the future. Not just the peace that Christians have and claim to walk in but a real, almost tangible peace. Over the past few months and especially during this Christmas season I've been extremely aware of the fragility of life. That as much as we think things are stable, as much as we relax in our naivete and feel safe in our happy lives, that NONE of it is sure. We find peace in our plans and security in routine and yet if we were to lose the person we love the most would we still have that peace? I don't mean to sound morbid - I just seem to be reminded SEVERAL times a day that life is so unsure. Maybe it's because we've been working on our will - getting our house in order so to speak. Whatever the cause, it's been on my mind a LOT!!

What has come of it is that I have appreciated things lately that have previously gone completely unnoticed. Not just unappreciated - but completely unnoticed and totally taken for granted!! I have noticed things lately and said "I love you" to more people in the past months than I have my entire life. It's like having my eyes opened to new colors and new surroundings... everything is different. I've enjoyed one of the BEST Christmas seasons of my life because of this.

So back to Starbucks - we're discussing this and I get a little choked up. Well of course what's the very next thing said??? "Sorry - my hormones must be raging!!"

WHY DO WE DO THAT???

Bless her heart - my BFF says "It isn't hormones - it's a gift that women have and the world doesn't appreciate it. It's that ability to FEEL things - and to feel them deeply - to the point that we get choked up sometimes."

I so love that about her. She's so smart. (Tall, beautiful, intelligent, healthy, beautiful eyes, almost single. NOT that she's looking. But if you're male and single and LOVE Jesus, you can ask.) And she's so right. We make excuses and even apologize when we express any kind of emotion. The world seems to so disdain emotion that we even label people who show NO emotion (except general depression) "emo's" and encourage only pretentious, rehearsed happiness. We laugh too loud, too often and too quickly. Crying is a sign of weakness and emotions are a sign of immaturity or instability. If you feel something so deeply that you get choked up then you probably haven't seen your shrink lately and it's time to make that appointment.

Well - no more. Not for me.

This final day of 2007 I realized I'm really glad I'm female. I'm really glad to feel things so strongly. I'm really glad I have friends who accept me for me - and not just accept but appreciate!! It makes me wanna cry!!! (and No - I'm not overtired, hungry, on my "cycle", or even unstable! I'm female and proud of it. If not for female emotions we might look a lot like those countries where women are not allowed to speak, feel, or be themselves... hmmmm I think I have a couple sons headed there to fight for freedom - theirs and ours.)

And I'm especially glad that no matter what 2008 brings, my life is in the the hands of The One who holds all time and space - and that gives me great peace.

I wish you a very Happy New Year - and peace.